I Wanna’ Do What I Wanna’ Do

Yesterday I had to go out after being in for the last six days. I’ve been disabled for the last three and half years and I had to go out almost every day to see different doctors. Then there was physical therapy and pulmonary rehab. Don’t get me wrong I wanted to feel better and I am doing much better today.  I’m happy that I no longer need to tote that 10 pound oxygen tank around, it felt like fifty pounds. I’m not going to rant and rave about being sick I did that in my blog Me Verse Lupus http://lupusverseme.blogspot.com I’m disgusted because I don’t have time to finish all the things I have to do.

While this thought was running through my head, and I was thinking about my next blog is going to be about me not have enough time to do all the things I want to do, not what I have to do them. But for me it can be the same thing. I check my emails when I got in yesterday and start reading some of the blogs I follow and ran across
  
The Ramblings of an Intellectual Sistah
  http://tmgoddess.wordpress.com/author/tmgoddess/
 

She shared what she thought about being an angry black woman. Why don’t you click on the link and check it out. I read it and had to laugh, though I’m not working 9-5 anymore, and for now, I’m blessed that I don’t have to. Still my time is in demand.

 I remember running three home care agencies, dealing with the office employees, field employees, the owners the clients, nurses and on top of all them I had to go over time sheets, facilitate and attend different meetings I was available to my employees 24/7, but I smiled enjoyed the stress and pressure. I was important and needed. That’s another story. Then went home and raised my dysfunctional teenagers. Sometimes I even took on second and third jobs to pay the mortgage and heat, and that’s another story. Oh yea I probably talked about it in Lupus Verse me blog, I told my life story I was pretty honest.

Maybe my to do list is too long, but I worked for over 30 years, I should be able to do what I want when I want. What do I want to do, I want to write and I am writing this blog, my novel, my poems and my inspirational and encouraging letters to my beloved grandchildren.

Less start with the blogs, I wrote my first blog on BlogSpot easy as pressing enter on the keyboard. But I wanted more exposure, so I started blogging on Word Press, this is where it complicated, I have to do more then press enter on it.  I don’t know how to work it, I don’t understand the instructions, you have to show me like I’m 92 year old woman. Blogger Jueseppi B. who writes the The ObamaCrat.com, check it out, he is great, he’s is helping me get some widgets on my page. I use to be able to figure these things out but I don’t know, blame it on lupus as my sister lupies say.

Mr. Jueseppi has been steering traffic to my blog on Word Press and I love it, those who follow me on BlogSpot know how I fiend for attention. That being said I have to produce more entries to share. The more readers I have the more I’m compelled to write for. Thank goodness I have a lot of poems to share for when I’m writing. I found many blogs I enjoy reading. So I spend time reading those.

I found Stumble and I like that. I see nice art, photographs; I learn a lot of interesting things. I can Stumble for hours. I have a twitter account but that’s one thing I can’t seem to really get into. I’m kind of long winded and twitter has a limit.

Then I have my on-line writing groups. I read other people’s work so they will read mine. 

Can’t forget about, Facebook I go on to see what’s up with my family and friends, okay and to play the “ville’s” you know the farm, city and now castle. After a while I do get annoyed with them, and stop playing. Funny, when I stop playing, I end up with more free time. Hum, go figure, but I like playing those stupid games, and that’s what my life is about these days, doing me. I like doing jigsaw puzzles, haven’t done one in a while because I don’t have time, too busy doing other things I enjoy.

Last year around this time I started making Mother’s day cards, I did such a good job the 25 or so I made sold out quickly and started getting orders, it became demanding. I started making cards for birthdays, graduations and weddings just name it.  I like make the cards but I didn’t like the demand, nor did my hands because I developed bad carpel tunnel syndrome. I couldn’t make the cards fast enough. In that short period of time I made over a $1000.00. I could supplement my income well with the cards but the demand is too much for me. I rather write my novel and supplement my income that way.

My family is very small but growing with my grand children’s’ generation. We are all scattered across the country and a cousin in New Zealand, we don’t get together much and don’t really know each other.  So about 2 years ago I started a newsletter to try and get us close. I was doing the bulk of the work.  Everyone loved it and wants me to start it back up, my niece told me a week or so ago that she will help me. So this is another assignment for me to do.

I’m crocheting a blanket for a niece that’s going off to college in 2013. I’m read books on my nook at night and when I’m sitting in waiting rooms.

Thank goodness I can record my TV shows or look for them on-line or on-demand and watch them when I have a time. I only watch five prime time shows, but in March I’ll be adding one more and when Boardwalk Empire comes back I’ll be watching that.

My main interest is my novel. I’ve been working on it for the last four years, it almost has an ending. But I wasn’t working on it in a while. So in order for me to get to the ending I have to go over what I already wrote and when I do that I start editing. I’m currently editing chapter one, but I have a dear friend who has been waiting to read the ending helping me with editing. When I end this essay I’ll be working on that.  That is if Grey’s Anatomy didn’t start yet.

I guess I need to learn how to prioritize my free time so I can do all the things I enjoy. I didn’t rant or rave too much I guess writing soothed that beast that was causing me to have an anxiety attack about doing the things I enjoy doing. I really don’t have to please anyone but me.  But it’s my nature to try and please everyone, to make everyone happy. So many people see the glass half empty and even at my lowest I see that glass half full. So let me end this so I can work on my novel before Grey starts.

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